The First Time Mal Realized
by mysistersaship
Summary: The first time Mal realizes he's in love with River. No it does not involve reaver blood or violence


Title: The First Time He Realized  
Word Count: 672  
Author: thefalloficarus at livejournal  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters; I just like to play with them. Joss is Boss though, and don't you forget it! ;)  
Rating: G  
Characters: River, Mal  
Pairing: very Mal/River  
Spoilers/Warnings: Post-BDM a spoiler if you haven't seen the movie  
Summary: Based on a prompt I received by lj user **cmk418** This is the first time Mal realizes he's in love with River.  
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Mal walked toward the cockpit yawning and stretching his hands over his head, and was startled to see River on the floor, hair spilled around her covering her face, feet tucked close to her, bare as usual. He paused for a moment wondering if he should return to his bunk and slip on shoes, but settled on buttoning up his shirt, and hoping his lack of footwear wouldn't make him appear less captainy.

As he neared the cockpit door, something caused him to slow to a stop. River facing out towards the black beyond, but he could hear her now, talking softly. He hadn't heard it when he'd first arrived, but now, he could hear her clear as day, and he wondered how he'd missed it.

"The princess of moonbeams laughed with the stars and she danced in their dust with beauty and grace. She was more radiant and enchanting...than..." She sat up now, turning to look over her shoulder, glancing at Mal. "Serenity was lonely. I was telling her a story."

At that, Mal smiled and gave a slight laugh and he nodded to her as he stepped into the room. "That's awful nice of you." He said, taking his place at the pilot's chair, smiling at River all the while.

River shook her head and sighed. "You think it's a game, but it's not. Serenity has been lonely lately, so full of grief." She paused for a moment, placing a hand on the metal floor, stroking it. "When Zoe took Wash's toys, she knew he would always be gone and I felt Serenity's heart break." River said sadly, looking up at the ship with sorrow and love.

Mal took a deep breath and he let it out slow: he too felt the sting of Wash's absence. "I know little Albatross. It's been hard with him gone."

River looked down at her hands then, and Mal realized she was hiding something, something small that she'd kept tucked away. He watched the question cross her face: to show or not to, and in the end she opened her hand and revealed a tiny dinosaur. "I know I shouldn't have, but I kept him." She said, guilt present in her voice. "It just seemed so sad to lock him away and leave Serenity with nothing."

Staring at River then, with her eyes shiny with sorrow and guilt, and her hair still askew from lying on the cold metal floor, her dress billowed around her like a worn and well loved blanket, Mal realized he wanted to reach out and touch her. Mal wanted to kneel before her and run his hands through her hair, and touch her cheek, to kiss her eyelids, and save her from her sorrow.

In that unlikely moment, Mal realized that he undeniably loved little River Tam: for her beauty and her grace, and the way she held so tightly to her humanity through the war that was her life, that it made him want to gasp and clutch at just a piece of her strength. Somehow, in that moment Mal realized that he loved it when she spoke, that it was like poetry, and even when he didn't understand, it always seemed she said it just for him, just because he would listen and love it and cherish every word.

River Tam, so small and elegant, who love and laughed and breathed for Serenity, and the people within her. River, he realized, somewhere and sometime before that moment, had captured his heart when he hadn't been looking, and now that realization caught him, and had he not been sitting, it would have brought him to his knees.

He wanted to reach out and touch her, hold her, tell her what he'd learned, but instead he gave her his best captainy smile, and said. "Well now, your secret is safe with me." This brought a smile to River's lips and again he felt his heart sing.

"You're even a captain without your shoes." She said standing, placing the little dinosaur in front of him. With that, she touched his arm, the briefest of contacts, but it set his head spinning, and when it finally stopped, he realized she was gone.


End file.
